The Daily Saint

The Productivity of Love

How big is your heart?  When you see people in need around you, do you refer to your schedule or desire to help them?  Consider that one of the most productive people in history, Mother Theresa, said this to say just a few years ago,

The fruit of silence is prayer
The fruit of prayer is faith
The fruit of faith is love
The fruit of love is service
The fruit of service is peace.

Large words from such a small woman.  I then read this early this morning from Pope John XXIII, the man who began the Second Vatican Council in 1962,

You know that it is not the noise that we make in our lives, or the things we see that count but the love with which we do the will of God.

Could it be that on a human level, our ability to get things done is based not so much on Twitter, GTD or LinkedIn? Perhaps love is a hidden force that propels us to compassion and response to human need. 

Lessons From a Parking Lot

This past weekend, we took a trip to the local supermarket.  #2 was asleep so my wife went into the store and I was left to mind the shop in the parking lot, sitting in my not so mini mini-van.

I watch as a lady emerges from the store with her two children.  She opens up the back hatch of her 50K SUV and a glass bottle falls out, shattering on the ground in front of her.  Oddly, she does nothing.  I thought that it might be ice for a moment instead of glass.  She piles her two average sized kids into her oversized vehicle and backs out, crunching over the glass as she went.

A lot attendant walks by, kicking some of the glass out of the way in order to retrieve a stray cart.  We'll call him Chip.  More on him later.

Car #2 pulls into the same spot, driving over the glass.  Couple gets out and enters the store.  They return ten minutes later and walk over the glass, then get into the car and drive over the glass for a second time.

At this point, I'm feeling a bit like a bad person for sitting in my van while all of these people are making these terrible decisions.  I want to roll my window down and shout, "It's glass you moron!" Oddly, I neither roll down a window nor shout anything. Part of me is wildly amused.

Instead, I watch as car #3 pulls into the same spot, driving (of course) over the glass.  A family of four gets out and the little boy sprints through the parking lot towards a relative on the other side of the lot.  The father, sporting fake hair,  doesn't seem to mind that his son could have gotten squished by an oncoming car.  I start to wonder if the boy is talented and gifted and thus has the green light to run in public places.

Chip returns to the scene.  Kicks the glass (again) and retrieves yet another cart.  Chip, it's glass!  Didn't they train you in glass removal? 

I am feeling like I did in college when another student sleep-walked into my room at 3a.m.  This can't be really happening can it?  Must be a dream of sorts. 

What's odder- for all of these people to make such moronic decisions or for me to sit by and do nothing? 

6 Ways to Balance Evening Commitments With Family Life

Photo by aeu4117

All teachers can relate to THE FINAL WEEK.  It's that week when your seniors graduate and then some.  There is usually a parents reception, Baccalaureate celebration and often a sports banquet- all of which occur at night. 

So how do you balance this with seeing the little ones at home or that spouse that misses you?

1. Practice the two night rule.  I discovered years ago that when I am away from my family for two straight evening commitments, I wouldn't see my kids for nearly three days.  This is difficult because it puts a lot of pressure on my wife and of course the munchkins are climbing the walls.  The two night rule says that you won't attend two evening commitments in a row on any given week. 
2. No surprises. Most spouses don't like "calendar surprises" so read #3.
3. Review calendar the week before.  Sitting down with your significant other to discuss the calendar is always a good idea.  Review your meetings and any special events that will pop up.
4. Only attend what you must.  Are you a person that thinks you have to go to everything?  If you are the CEO, you might be right but for the other 99.9% of us, it's worth stepping back and reflecting on commitments.  You could either not attend an evening commitment or you could trim it back by doing a "pop in".  I work in a school and it's impossible to go to every sports event so I check out a quarter or two and show my face. It's putting forth a good faith effort and everyone appreciates it.
5. Decide to live closer to work.  I realize that this isn't possible for everyone but it does make a huge difference.  You'll feel closer to loved ones and at the end of the event it makes a big difference to say on the phone, "Be home in ten minutes," as opposed to "Pray for me in my hour of traffic".
6. If all else fails, reward yourself.  If you have a week where you absolutely must attend several grueling evening commitments, pamper yourself with a scheduled personal day.  Better yet, take your family away for a weekend of fun in the sun.  Having the carrot at the end of the stick is a great way to tolerate a killer week.

How Do You Organize Your Inspiration?

Photo by Muffet

Today's post is from a handout from a talk that I gave this past weekend called, "Developing a Keynote Address: How to Organize Your Inspiration".

"Peace is the tranquility of order." St. Augustine

Capturing Your Ideas
Have a notebook handy wherever you are.  This can be as simple as a magnetic pad on your fridge (to recall what you need as your kitchen gets empty) to a 50cent notepad for your coat pocket.  You never know when a great idea will strike and give up on the idea of “remembering it later”. Get ideas out of your head- if you don't they'll come back and you'll wonder why you haven't done anything with them.  As David Allen says, "Your head's for having ideas, not for holding them."  If you think it, ink it.

Keeping Your Ideas
Maintaining lists of anything that you want to reference later is a sign of an active mind.  Here is where you've taken your seemingly random "capture anytime" ideas and put them into a system of lists.  Lists might include:

• Great Saint quotes
• Talks I'd like to give
• Questions I'd like to ask the Pope
• Pilgrimage locations I'd like to visit
• Books I'd like to read
• Next time at Home Depot
• Places to visit in San Diego
• Coffee flavors to avoid
• Blog post ideas
• Blood pressure readings

Activating Your Ideas
When you can take your ideas and put them into motion you are making progress.  This might be an idea that you captured on the back of a knapkin or something more formally on a list. This of course does not happen all at once.  It takes practice to move from idea to action.  How do you do it?  By visiting your lists on a regular basis and sitting with them, you can make tremendous progress in life.  When it comes to giving a talk, getting from list to presentation is an art-form.  Gather your ideas, write down some thoughts, then let your outline percolate for a few days. Revisit it and then put on your next addition.  A great talk will look like a home that has had a competent architect working behind the scenes: it looks and feels right, accomplishing everything that the home owner had in mind.  Others will feel at home with your message- now that’s hospitality.

Are You a Spectator or a Participant?

Photo by HometownInvasion

If there is one thing that GTD teaches us it's to close the open loops in our life.  These often revolve around our project list.  It's often the  seemingly small projects ('buy gift for Claire') that we leave open until the very last minute, when we are forced to do something ('only one day until Claire's birthday').  The lesson?  Act on your thoughts and keep your projects moving...somewhere and somehow.

My students and I have been studying a critical event from the 1960's which I believe encourage the closing of some open loops and the opening of others.  Vietnam War?  Nope.  Labor movement?  Not even close.  We've been studying what is known as the Second Vatican Council.

Vatican II was a meeting (actually a series of them) which lasted from 1962-1965 and involved nearly 2500 Catholic bishops.  Some key decisions were made at Vatican II, including the groundbreaking idea of holding worship services (Mass) in the language of the people.  But that's not even remotely close to being the most important aspect of the council. 

What Vatican II did for Roman Catholics and for the world was to encourage people to go from being spectators to participants.   When we become participants, we take responsibility and that of course involves risk and vulnerability.

Some areas in life in which we can move from spectatorship to being players might include:

• Leadership at work: rather than being a complainer, a participant takes action where he can and does his job to a high level.
• Leadership at home: rather than putting himself first in the family, a participant seeks to lift up those around him.  What can I do to make my home happier for those around me?
• Leadership in your community:  close an open loop (i.e. the school board is spending money irresponsibly) by running for office, volunteering on a committee or hosting a party.

You can see the interchange between leadership/participation and the closing of loops.  The best online resource for a Vatican II overview can be found here. I believe that we are all capable of leadership which is a fancy word for being a participant ... in life.

A Minimalist Guide to Weekend Renewal: 6 Easy Ways to Recharge the Batteries

Photo by RickyDavid

My friend Gene lives like a rock star.  He travels the globe, working and playing and then blogging about it for all to enjoy.  There are others who test drive expensive cars or even jump out of airplanes. 

I'd like to suggest something a bit simpler this weekend. 

Weekend time can easily get swallowed up in errands, birthday parties for kids and house work.  Even for church-goers, weekend time can get absorbed in a myriad of programs and events.  The key, as usual, is to simplify. Here are some minimalist ideas for your Saturday and Sunday:

• Reintroduce yourself to a book.  Hard as it may seem, few of us actually sit down and read.  Why not look at your options and enjoy one chapter from a book?  It really is possible and with a cup of java on hand, the words will fly by your eyes with little to no effort. 
• Reclaim one space that was previously cluttered. As this is a minimalist guide to weekend renewal, I'm not talking about a whole-scale cleaning here, just a place that you can reclaim for another purpose.  If a guest bedroom is a dumping bin for junk, commit to repurposing it as your art studio or home office.  Maybe there is a corner of a room that isn't being used well- why not create a meditation corner?
• Capture a moment with nature. Don't just go for a walk but get in the car and find some inspiring piece of nature that you can enjoy.  Choose a park, a scenic overlook or even a courtyard within a museum.  Just sit and enjoy. 
• Start a new journal.  I like the .99 cent tablet journals and the simplicity of them works for me.  Choose something that fits your style and commit to writing in it each morning. 
• Reintroduce yourself to God.  Have a talk, share your feelings and spend some time with God this weekend.  Many people find that silence is difficult when they pray but if you see it as God's instrument, silence becomes a friend that you regularly spend time with.
• Create a simple night for your family.  Rent a movie, crank up the popcorn and get comfortable!  There are many simple and affordable things that you can do with your family that are just plain fun.

Sometimes I envy guys with a rock-star lifestyle, wondering why my Toyota Camry doesn't have racing stripes or a sub-woofer in place of a back seat.  Then, I shake myself out of it and appreciate all that I have.

How to Bring Self Confidence to a Higher Level

Photo by Feuillu

"One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self- confidence is preparation."  Arthur Ashe

When I came across this quote, I had a bit of an "aha" moment as I remembered what a mentor had told me years ago about time management.  He explained that he was not the smartest, nor funniest, nor best looking.  His gift, he discovered years earlier, was his ability to prioritize commitments and prepare for each week.  Not exactly what everyone strives for but he practiced and practiced until he got it down.

Then he became a true master of time management.

When you can see your weekly review as a skill, you're getting deeper into the game.  The preparation-follow up-preparation cycle becomes the backbone of your ability to prioritize commitments.  Thankfully, it gets easier with time.

What Arthur Ashe is also reminding us is that confident people are prepared people. The two go hand in hand.  What can we prepare for this week?

1. Calendar
2. Meetings
3. Diet & fitness
4. Relationships
5. Fun
6. Spiritual growth

And we could go on and on.  A truly prepared person sees the "edgeless" activities (spiritual growth, fun, relationships, etc.) as projects with action steps.  Not that a Valentine's dinner with your better half is merely another project, but it has multiple steps which need be carried out in sequence.  Translation: project management. 

Looking at the Valentine's dinner as an example- if you are prepared for Feb. 14th, chances are it will go better and you'll feel great about it.  Makes sense.

What can you do, besides being a prepared person, to boost your self confidence?  Here are some tips:

1. Customize your routine.  This is an essential component to an organized (and prepared) life.  Nail your wake up times and going to bed times.  Streamline how you get ready for the day.  Simplify your steps in the morning.  Then, do it all again.
2. Understand your personality type. Use the Myers Briggs personality type indicator as a tool to better understand yourself.  Once you accept your level of extrovert-introversion, you'll be much cooler with how you treat your own personality.  (oh, and how you treat others)
3. Hang with the best and brightest.  Network online, via phone or snail mail with those who are confident.  Meet them at conferences and find out where they hang.  You don't want to be a stalker, just someone who learns how to meet those who are successful.   My students get a kick out of who I've met and interviewed over the years.
4. Dress for success. What you wear does make a difference.  This is not just interview advice.  The next time you don't feel well, dress better.  The next time the weather is crummy, dress better.  The next time you are about to meet someone important, dress better. 
5. Go where you want to be.  If you want to be the boss, check out his/her office the next time you have a meeting.  Imagine yourself hosting visitors and facilitating meetings.  If your neighborhood isn't what you want it to be, go for a drive and observe how other streets are organized and what types of houses are there.  Get the flavor of the dream and then stoke your fire by visiting its origin again and again.
6. Find a mentor. A mentoring agency can be a huge help with improving self confidence.  A good mentor is like gold and can become a secret weapon in the road to success.  My mentor, Gerry, is a trusted advisor, a genuine friend and a sounding board for my ambitions and failures. 

10 Sure-Fire Ways to Beat the February Blues

Photo by kool_skatkat

It's that time of year again, when the cold doesn't go away and the days are dark.  A former boss of mine once said, "Never make a big decision in February," and I think that he was right.  It's not a time of year that, in the Northeast U.S. at least, is particularly cheery.

What can you do to combat the February blues?  Here are some sure-fire ways that will pick you up and get you smoothly into Spring:

Change your voice mail message.  Sounds so basic but give it a try and see what happens.  Your callers will also know that you have a pulse and are keeping it real.

Move around your furniture.  A change in layout, placement, or even pairing can go a long way.  Furniture placement is definitely an art so figure out what works for you and then enjoy what you've created.  Generative activity is one of the best triggers to the brain to stimulate happiness.

Purge your closets. Tossing 'stuff' is also a great way to maintain simplicity and combat the winter blues. 

Clean your car.  Since you have to spend time in the car on a regular basis, keeping it clean makes a lot of sense.  You'll maintain a healthier space but the act of cleaning will also give you a boost to make it through February.

Change your website or blog design. Why not mix it up?  If you use Wordpress or Typepad, there are many templates out there which are easy enough to install.  Try something out and ask for feedback from your readers.  Why not create a contest that would let the readers choose the look and feel that they enjoy the most?

Streamline your desk. A clean desk is essential for maximum productivity.  More than that, it keeps you in the zone and allows you to tune out visual distractions.  Keep it simple, nothing more and nothing less.

Clean out your wallet or handbag.  Similar to purging a closet, a journey through a wallet or purse reveals all sorts of things.  Clean it out and you'll be amazed how much lighter it is when receipts and unnecessary items are tossed.

Go for a new look. Mix it up with a new hair style, an affordable wardrobe makeover or one new accessory which you'll use regularly.  If your health insurance provides for new glasses, why keep wearing that old pair with the broken nose-pieces?

Take a mini-vacation. A long weekend during February makes a lot of sense.  It doesn't have to be far from home nor expensive to make this idea happen. 

Throw a party.  Invite a small group of your good friends over and call it a "Winter Blues" get together.  Invite everyone to bring a dish and then enjoy the night!

Strength Phrases for Those Tough Parts of the Day

All of us have an optimal time of day for high performance and creative thought.  We can look to an interview with Teresa Amabile who studied workplace stress for ten years.  While many of us see stress as a stimulant to keep us moving through the day, the data speaks to the contrary:

"Perhaps the most surprising finding from the time pressure study is that time pressure really does seem to have an important impact on creativity, even though our intuitions are contradictory and previous research is inconclusive."

In order to stay productive, try single-tasking instead of multitasking.  Tim Ferris has written extensively on this and offers some practical tips on how to do one thing at a time.

Another strategy for keeping on your game is to repeat (i.e. mantra) phrases to yourself during the day.  These should be simple, to the point and meaningful to you.  Just because someone else said it, doesn't mean that it's going to work for you.  Here are some suggestions:

• I am good at what I do
• Fast, smart, thoughtful
• My focus is on those I serve
• What's my next step?
• One thing at a time

The Ultimate Guide to Setting New Year's Resolutions

For years, I thought that I just had to set some kind of New Year's resolution.  It's mandatory right?  This year, I'm taking a new approach, counter to everything that Brian Tracy wrote in Eat That Frog where he promotes doing the unpleasant thing first each day.  Not me but thanks anyway Brian.  I do plenty of frog eating in my daily work so my 2008 list is all about fun.

While I won't publish my entire Events List, I'm going to try to do less of some things (yelling from one room to the next when the kids are arguing) and more of others (going green with our new house).  Some highlights from my list include:

• going on  a silent retreat
• reclaiming Sabbath time
• simplifying (anything, everything) whenever I can
• mailing birthday gifts ahead of time

I've also felt drawn lately to reworking my mission statement so that it reflects more focus and simplicity.  This year I will strive, along with my family to be "Fully present to the grace of God, in the moments of God in order to be the hands of God."  Very simple indeed.  Here's to a fun 2008!

Ultimate Guide for Setting (and keeping!) New Year's Resolutions
Tony Robbins on Goal Setting
Leo Babauta on the Goal of Daily Reflection
TreeHugger's Guide to New Year's Resolutions
Top Ten New Year's Resolutions
Goals Guy on the Facts of New Year's Resolutions
Ian's Messy Desk: How to Keep Your Resolutions
My Goals on Helpful Resolution Tips
EHOW on How to Set a New Year's Resolution
Goofy New Year's Resolutions
20 Healthy Resolutions for Kids
Stephen Smith's Last Look at '07
NASCAR's Resolutions for a Great '08
10 New Year's Resolutions to Boost Your Business
A History of New Year's Day
A Resolution to Keep the Sabbath Each Week